Seven Steps to Your Best Life: The Stage Climbing Solution for Living the Life You Were Born to Live by Michael S. Broder

Author:Michael S. Broder
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: G&D Media
Published: 2018-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

As we’ve done with the other stages so far, let’s now look at what powers our problematic Stage Five hooks. Here are some of the attitudes and beliefs about yourself that could be creating issues for you at this stage.

• “I feel trapped, with no way out. I have no choices—my life runs me.”

• “Life is full of obligations that I must personally meet and often don’t enjoy.”

• “I must keep it all together. I must step up to the plate with all of my roles and duties whether or not they are satisfying for me.”

• “I cannot tolerate the void caused by ______________ [a lost job, ended relationship, etc.]. I can’t rest until I fill that slot immediately.”

• “If I ask for help in fulfilling a role or obligation, it means I am weak.”

• “In reality, I have it all, but still feel unfulfilled.”

Which of these Stage Five themes most speak to you? If any do, take note. Then make a customized list of your own variations on them, and then commit yourself to making necessary changes in your attitudes and life. How have the ones you’ve identified affected your stress level, relationships, your career, and overall enjoyment of life? Once again, take note of this, along with how your life could improve if you removed the obstacles that prevent you from being fully in charge of your life. And think of this as your principal reason for managing those Stage Five hooks.

Having said that, don’t lose sight of how your non-problematic Stage Five hooks may be serving you. You may, for example, find that preserving the status quo is your choice. Or you may choose to be involved in activities that are emotionally neutral at best (such as doing chores, dealing with certain family members, commuting, or paying the bills); to interact with people you would otherwise avoid; or to handle obligations and tasks that your job or role requires (such as doing expense reports, studying for an exam, or writing a thesis). When your choice is to be content with external rewards such as earning money and other benefits, or when comfort, security, and satisfaction are enough for you, honor that decision.

At the same time, as Ruth and William discovered, too many activities and roles can drain your quality of life. In their case, a marriage with too many obligations and activities left little or no time for them to be lovers or enjoy solitary downtime. The main thing to remember about Stage Five is to enjoy what you can, but not to expect more fulfillment than is actually there. Personal fulfillment is much more a function of stages Six and Seven.

Comfort and even affluence, a nice, decent family life, an adequate community, religious involvement, the demands you put on yourself to keep it all together, as well as all the staples of what we believe to constitute a good life, don’t always add up to happiness or fulfillment. If this resonates with you, you may be yearning for something more.

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